PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!
by LemonyWickedAwesome
Summary: What happens when Gin steals Rukia's peanut butter jelly sandwich? READ AND FIND OUT! CRACK-FIC! very stupid humor.


**Lemony:** Ok, I've got massive writers block and evil plot bunnies are attacking me, so to curb my itch for writing…CRACK FIC TIME!

**Wicked:** Bloody good for nothing idiot.

**Lemony:** I LOVE YOU TOO WICKED! *hugs Wicked*

**Wicked:** Get off me! Your breasts are in my face! I can't breath!

**Lemony:** FEEL THE LOVE!...I would hug Awesome but she finally passed out.

**Awesome:** ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZzzZzZzZZz….

**Wicked&Lemony:** *shakes heads* Those damn video games…

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><p>One fine day, Rukia Kuchiki was enjoying a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.<p>

"Nom, nom, nom," She chewed, she was sitting outside Kuchiki manor in the sunlight when one fox-faced captain walked pasted her.

"GIMME DAT SANDWICH!" With that Gin snatched her sandwich and started eating it. Rukia frowned, old people drive on the wrong side of the road because the oncoming headlights remind them of Jesus.

"You can't do your alphabet correctly!" She snapped, Gin put his hands on his hips.

"A, B, C, D, L, M, N, O, G!" He said then realized he sounded stupid, "I KNOW MY ABC'S BITCH!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

Suddenly Big Bird came flapping down from the sky and snatched the sandwich from Gin.

"Oh no!" Rukia cried, "Follow that donkey!"

Gin and Rukia flew off into the air cranking their Soulja Boy and chasing Big Bird all the way to State Lemony, the state of pie. The evil tyrant Wicked ruled over the skittle-covered lands, Big Bird gave her the coveted peanut butter and jelly sandwich. A friend would give you an umbrella in the rain, while a Best Friend would say: RUN BITCH! RUN!

"Ha!" She laughed, "You idiots! You must answer my 5 questions of genius-ness if you want your precious sandwich."

"Bring it on Price William!" Gin challenged, Wicked smirked.

"First question," She said, "Who is the President of the United States?"

"Martin Luther King is the President!" Rukia yelled, Wicked scowled. They had gay burglars the other night! They came in and rearranged the furniture!

"Next question," She said, "Ahem, 2+2 equals what?"

"2+2 equals…YOU GIMME DAT SANDWICH RIGHT NOW LADY!" Gin yelled while scratching his ass.

"WRONG!" Wicked yelled, "No sandwich for you…Next question, sing one of Michael Jackson's songs."

"OH MICKEY YOU'RE SO FINE! YOU'RE SO FINE YOU BLOW MY MIND! HEY MICKEY!" Rukia sang dancing around and humping Gin's leg like a mad Chihuahua.

Wicked frowned, burritos are sleeping bags for ground beef! "You're the dumbest dumb person I've ever seen!"

Rukia scowled, "You're the dumbest smart person I've ever seen!"

Gin was too busy doing the Stanky Leg to care. Then he realized something very important!

"If you think life is not fair, try being an egg." He said, both women arched their eyebrows. Gin continued, "If you were an egg, you only get laid once, you only get eaten once, it takes 4 minutes to get hard, then only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother!"

"You think you're so smart! You have 2 more questions!" Wicked exclaimed, "Finish this quote 'I dream of a better tomorrow…' What is the rest?"

Rukia answered, "I dream of a better tomorrow…where chickens can cross the road without being questioned!"

"One more question," Wicked said waving the coveted peanut better jelly sandwhich in her face, "What's my favorite pick-up line?"

Gin bounced up and down, "Oh! Oh! Oh! I know this one! Your favorite pick-up line is, 'Did you fart?...because your blowing me away!' Am I right?"

"WRONG!" Wicked yelled, "No sandwich for you!"

If bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered bread to the back of a cat and dropped it? Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

"Gimme my sammich!" Rukia yelled trying to grab it from the evil ruler. Lemony is not random, she just...OMG FISH!

"Release the monkey!" Wicked hollered, then Grape Ape came swing down from vines t to them.

"Yay!" Gin cheered, "We're doomed!"

"Laugh and frolic in your vile meats of evil!" Wicked laughed, then Grape Ape gave Rukia back her sandwich.

Then Gin and Rukia escaped back to the Soul Socitey!

"I ran over an iPod in line at the bank because that's how I roll." He said folding his arms,

"ITS PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!" Rukia yelled, then Gin stole her sandwich again.

"ITS MY NOW!"

"You should save water! Drink vodka instead!"

They never learn.

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><p><strong>Wicked:<strong>…..I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! *chases Lemony* I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO PUT ME IN A STORY!

**Lemony:** *runs away* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Awesome:** ZZZZzZZzZzZzZzZzZ…REVIEW!


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